Never Let A Blonde
Shoot A Shotgun
Blonde Attempting Suicide
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?", the doctor asked.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the Blonde replied.
"Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. Your using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says "How's my driving-call 1-800-xxxxxxx."
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. You're counting down the days until menopause.
8. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
9. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.