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A Blonde To The Rescue

Ten Years Without…

One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.

"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.

Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long have you been on this Island?"

"Ten years," replies the stunned man.

Then she says to the guy: "So it's been 10 years since you've had a cigarette?"

"Yes" he says. "It's been 10 long years since I had a cigarette"

With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.

Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.

He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"

At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks:

"And how long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a set of gold clubs in there?"
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You Know You Have PMS IF:
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. Your using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says "How's my driving-call 1-800-xxxxxxx."

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. You're counting down the days until menopause.

8. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

9. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

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