Blonde One Liners

What do you have when there are three blondes in a corner?
An Air Pocket

How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Hide her hairbrush

Why do you take a blonde shopping with you?
So you can park in the handicapped spaces.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial intelligence.

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

What is a blonde's mating call?
"I'm sooooo drunk!"

What is the brunette's mating call?
"Have the blondes left yet?
How did the blonde get hurt raking leaves?
She fell out of a Tree

What do you call 10 blondes standing side by side?
A wind tunnel.

What do you call a circle of blondes?
A dope ring

What does a blonde say when she finds out she's pregnant?
"Gee, I hope it's mine."

Why did the blonde have a hard time making Kool-Aid?
She couldn't get all the water in the little packet

Why couldn't the blonde make ice-cubes?
She didn't have the recipe.

Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out the W's.

What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
People have seen UFO's.

The Importance of Punctuation

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?



Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men.

I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?


Clinton Speak

What Clinton says and What he really means

I was not lying.
I was standing up and she was lying.

It wasn't adultery.
She wasn't even an adult.

I did not have oral sex with her.
She was having it with me.

It is time to get on with the nations' business.
If this isn't off the front page by tomorrow, I'm bombing Iraq.