Nurse Humor

Rule 1 -- The Nurse Is Always Right

Rule 11 -- Always do whatever you do best.

Rule 2 -- Never yell at the nurses (refer to Rule #1.)

Rule 12 --Everyone gets treated exactly the same in here ---until he pisses you off.

Rule 3 -- Don't hit patients or doctors-unless necessary.

Rule 13 -- To be right is only half the battle; to convince the patient is more difficult.

Rule 4 -- All fevers will eventually come back to normal on the way to room temperature.

Rule 14 -- Uncommon manifestations of common diseases are more common than are uncommon diseases.

Rule 5-- Don't vomit on the doctor!

Rule 15 --The pain will go away when it stops hurting.

Rule 6 -- Death is a severe stage of shock, or shock is a pause in the act of dying.

Rule 16 -- Don't get excited about blood loss-unless it's your own

Rule 7 -- All bleeding stops eventualy

Rule 17 -- It doesn't matter what you do as long as it's right.

Rule 8 -- Remember, the problem is always better than the X-ray looks.

Rule 18 -- If a patient has a catheter ---he needs it.

Rule 9 -- You can't hurt a dead man.

Rule 19 -- In medicine, always remember never to say always and never.

Rule 10 -- Everybody has to die sometime.

They Said What?
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”

― Phyllis Diller

“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”

― Yogi Berra

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”

― Albert Einstein