"Lawyers Are Funny Only By Accident" The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide... Question From the Lawyer The Answer (If any) Q: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning? Q: What happened then? Q: Did he kill you? A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.' Q: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war? Q:The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? Q: Were you alone or by yourself. Q: How long have you been a French Canadian? Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind? Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken? A: That's me Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? Q: And by whose death was it terminated? A: By death. Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in? Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8? Q: What were you doing at that time? A: I'll be three months on November 8 A: Yes. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? Q: How many times have you committed suicide? A: I used to be. .Q: So you were gone until you returned? Q: She had three children, right? Q: How many were boys? Q: Were there girls? A: Yes. A: None. Q: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it? Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? A: Yes. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question." Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose Chapel? Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m. A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the able wondering why I was doing an autopsy! Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet ! top