Pheasant
and the Bull | Understanding
Engineers | Engineers
#2 | Trivia
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Pheasant
and the Bull
A pheasant was
standing in a field
chatting to a bull. "I
would love to be able to
get to the top of yonder
tree", sighed the pheasant,
"but I haven't got the
energy".
"Well, why don't you
nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with
nutrients".
The pheasant pecked at a
lump of dung and found that
it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the first
branch of the tree. The
next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached the
second branch. And so
on.
Finally, after a
fortnight, there he was
proudly perched at the top
of the tree. Whereupon he
was spotted by a farmer who
dashed into the farmhouse,
emerged with a shotgun, and
shot the pheasant right out
of the tree and had it for
dinner.
Moral of the
Story: Just because you
get to the top with
bullshit don't mean it's
gonna keep you there.
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Understanding
Engineers
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A pastor, a doctor and an
engineer were waiting one
morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's
with these guys? We must have
been waiting for 15
minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I
don't know, but I've never
seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here
comes the greenskeeper. Let's
have a word with him." and
asks the keeper:
"What's with that group
ahead of us? They're rather
slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied,
"Oh, yes, that's a group of
blind firefighters. They lost
their sight saving school
children from a fire last
year, so we always let them
play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a
moment.
The pastor said, "That's so
sad. I think I will say a
special prayer for them
tonight."
The doctor said, "Good
idea. And I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist buddy and
see if there's anything he can
do for them."
The engineer said, "Why
can't these guys play at
night?"
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Understanding
Engineers #2
There was an
engineer who had an
exceptional gift for fixing
all things mechanical.
After serving his company
loyally for over 30 years,
he happily retired. Several
years later the company
contacted him regarding a
seemingly impossible
problem they were having
with one of their
multi-million dollar
machines.
They had tried
everything and everyone
else to get the machine
fixed, but to no avail. In
desperation, they called on
the retired engineer who
had solved so many of their
problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly
took the challenge. He
spent a day studying the
huge machine. At the end of
the day, he marked a small
"x" in chalk on a
particular component of the
machine and proudly stated,
"This is where your problem
is," he said "Replace this
part."
The part was replaced
and the machine worked
perfectly again.The company
received a bill for $50,000
from the engineer for his
service. They demanded an
itemized accounting of his
charges.
The engineer responded
briefly:
One chalk mark $1
Knowing where to put it
$49,999
It was paid in full and
the engineer retired again
in peace.
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Trivia
The term the whole nine yards came
from WWII fighter pilots in he South Pacific.
When arming their airplanes on the
ground, the 50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured
exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage.
If the pilots fired all
their ammo at a target, it got
the whole nine yards.
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