Blonde One Liners

Make Sure

A blonde and red head are walking in the woods when then red head has a heart attack and falls to the ground.

Shocked, the blonde takes out her phone and calls the police and she shouts, "I think my friend is dead, what do I do?"

A Swinging Blonde

Stacks Image 40

She Is Dead

The policeman on the phone says, "Calm down and listen to me. First make sure that he really is dead."

There is a silence.

Then a loud gunshot. The blonde gets back on the phone and says, "Okay, now what?"

Magic Beer


So a blonde walks into The Top Level Bar, a drinking establishment at a hotel that has a lounge on the top of its 13 story building and sits down.

A man in a trench coat leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" and holds up the bottle of the beer he is drinking so she can see the label. "It allows you to do amazing things!"

Superman

The Jokester

Stacks Image 36
At this the man takes a swig of the beer, stands up, jumps off the building and flies around twice before flying back to the lounge on the top of the building.

Excited, the blonde orders the same beer and drinks it. She then takes a running leap off the top of the building…and promptly falls 13 floors to her death.

The owner of the bar then turns to the man in the trench coat and says, "You know you're a real prick when you're drunk, Superman."

Stay Calm!


A blond flying in a two-seater airplane when the pilot has a heart attack and dies. Panicked, she calls out a May Day.

"May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! My pilot has had a heart attack and I thinks he is dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:
Stacks Image 28


"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!"

She says, "I'm 5'4 and i'm in the front seat."

(pause)

"O.K." says the voice in the radio.......

"Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven........"